1. Be Active
Fiorello La Guardia, congressman, mayor, and citizen of the world, has a magnetic personality. It has helped keep him in important offices for years. His short legs would be a handicap to many men who do not have his magnetism, but they keep La Guardia active, continually on the go.
He wears out his shoes, not his trousers.
Magnetic people are active people. They stand up when they might be sitting down. They move when they might be standing still.
Don’t get the idea that these magnetic people were born with something different that makes them active. This activity is very often deliberately assumed. Billy Sunday, for instance, was a quiet fellow, who impressed the members of his family as a bit on the indolent side. But when he was on the platform, when he wanted to lead people, he made himself become active. He was, in a sense, acting. His jumping, gesturing, shouting were part of a deliberate plan to be active. He was not born that way — he made himself that way to help him lead others.
Teddy Roosevelt is another who made himself active. Alone, he would be relaxed and easygoing. When visitors came, an instant transformation came over him. He moved with vigor, was intensely active, until the visitor left, whereupon he became a relaxed man. The important point is that he assumed an active manner when he was with people, but we should not overlook the fact that he knew how to let down and conserve energy between times. Had he been active every moment, he might have worn himself out prematurely. Be active when with others, relaxed when alone.
Magnetic people show their activity in their handshakes. They use no “dead-fish” handshake, no polite finger touching. They shake one’s hand.
They use their hands to gesture when they talk; they do not keep them stuffed in pockets. Teddy Roosevelt used his hands to carve out charts and symbols in the air as he talked. This activity holds interest and helps make ideas clear.
Magnetic folks give emphasis to some of their words. They pause a split second — electrifying attention by that pause — and then push out a word with more emphasis than usual. This is one of the secrets of Winston Churchill’s powerful magnetism over those who hear him. There is no monotone in his talk; he uses emphasis to make it sound like a military polka. Try yourself, on this simple greeting:
“I’m glad to meet you, Mr. Smith.”
Now repeat that greeting, putting the emphasis on the words indicated:
“I’m GLAD to meet you, Mr. SMITH.”
What a difference! The same words, but sparks are given off when some emphasis is used.
Further, you do not need to be born with a musical voice to have magnetic speech. Teddy Roosevelt had a squeaky voice, and knew it. Mayor La Guardia certainly has no booming baritone. It is not the voice you were born with that determines the magnetism; it’s how you use that voice. Make it active, along with the other activity of the magnetic personality.
2. Be Brisk
One of the first habits Theodore Roosevelt formed deliberately, in his boyhood, was to be brisk without being brusque. He had an active handshake, but a brief one. He stopped while the other person was expecting one more vigorous pump, one more squeeze of his fingers.
Teddy left them expectant.
His talk was brisk, too. He would talk actively for a few sentences, then stop in silence and let the other person carry on.
His glance was brisk. A few seconds of intense concentration into the other’s eyes, then to their hands, jewelry, chin.
He was brisk at social gatherings, the first to excuse himself from friendly groups.
Again, he left them expectant.
The essence of this habit of briskness is to leave people while they are expecting more. Quit while the quitting is good. Don’t wear out the welcome. Clear out before you run down.
When people come to talk with you, this briskness can be used, and without offending. Terminate interviews quickly, gracefully. One executive looks at his watch and then stands up to indicate that it is stopping time. Another pushes back his desk work and lays down his pipe when someone comes into his office. When the discussion has reached the conclusion, so far as he is concerned, he puts his pipe in his mouth and draws the desk work back to him.
I have been in some private offices where a large, hand-lettered motto behind the executive served to remind the caller to be brief. “Time is precious — don’t waste it” one of these read. Another said, “To waste one’s own time is foolish — to waste others’ is stealing.” The caller could not fail to see and understand these admonitions as he looked at the executive. And I can give testimony that they made me be a bit briefer.
Most interviews can be brief. When they are not, the talk is likely to run around in circles, repeating itself to no point. Since many do not realize the value of briskness, the executive has to protect himself by such tricks in order to terminate the interview tactfully and unobtrusively.
But how do you break away from an interview? Many say they have trouble finding some excuse. No excuse is necessary. Whether you are leaving someone’s office, or a private home:
Don’t let anything stop you between the first and second steps. If you are asked why you must go, well, say that Laird told you to — and don’t stop; keep right on moving.
When you start to leave, don’t stand still; keep moving, and toward the door. Don’t talk, either. Smile and keep going right out the door.
Neglect to be brief, and one becomes a bore. When Lord Dufferin arrived late at a luncheon, he apologized to the hostess by explaining that he had been detained by the Earl of Kimberley. Then he whispered: “A wonderful man! It is amazing how much he knows. He knows everything — everything! — all the corners of the earth and all the men in it. He knows everything, except — except when to stop!”
In his early days as toll collector on the canal, John H. Patterson had a small retail coal business as a sideline. He was continually short of money because people were slow to pay for their coal. His business was too small, too insecure, to serve as a basis for bank credit. But he borrowed, solely on his own credit. One morning he went to his banker and said:
“Mr. Phillips, I want to borrow $500 until Friday.”
“Write out a check for $500 to Mr. Patterson,” the banker instructed a clerk. Then he turned to the embryo businessman. “Let me give you a little advice. If you had not asked for it the way you did, if you had asked me how I felt and how business is, you would not have the money. Always be brief. And another thing, be sure to have the money back on Friday.”
Busy businessmen appreciate brevity.
3. Be Cheerful
People who have personal magnetism must be cheerful. They talk about glad tidings, not calamity. They encourage others, never emphasize discouragement. No matter what obstacles they realize are ahead, they talk and act success, not failure.
Others feel better after a few minutes with such people.
Just as the magnetic person leaves others feeling expectant by his briskness, so does he leave them in elevated moods by his cheerfulness, even when he has to pretend that cheerfulness. And more successful persons than you realize pretend they are cheerful.
I have a friend who had enough troubles to make him an ingrown grouch. Bert was seriously concerned about these, to be sure, but his wide circle of friends said they envied him his inborn fortitude. Inborn, nothing!
“I figured,” Bert told me with a warm smile, “that it wouldn’t help others any if I went around grouching and telling about my troubles. Neither would it do me any good, nor solve the trouble. So why not make them think I’m happy, even if I’m not!”
There is magnetism in a smile, in every evidence of cheerfulness.
4. Be Direct
The man who looks at the ceiling, out of the window, or at the third vest button is not being direct.
There are sparks given off when one looks intently at another, regardless of which one is doing the talking at the moment. That is what the blind student did, and since his atrophied eyes were hidden behind dark glasses he did not glare people out of countenance.
The leader has power over others from his direct glance and direct manner. There is a “look in the eye” of the leader. It is not a fierce or a haughty look; it is a direct look. He does not glare (the way Mussolini tried to do) or stare, like a country bumpkin on his first visit to the city. The leader looks intently at others. That intent, direct look establishes contact.
You can’t be magnetic by talking to the ceiling or looking at the floor.
5. Be Fearless
The natural leader has the gumption to scrap, if necessary, for what he thinks is right. He “speaks out in meeting” against injustice, graft, obsolete methods, blunders by the high and mighty.
This quality shows itself not just by sticking one’s chin out when there is trouble around. It is reflected in the tone of voice, firmness of glance and lips. It gains respect for the leader — and wins followers.
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