The power of networking isn’t that you’ll actually be able to pitch yourself to a prospective employer. No, the real power is that one of your connections will do it for you. Why?
Because referable men are valuable men. They have a definable skill set needed by certain groups, businesses, and individuals. An F-18 technician, a .NET programmer, a distance swimming coach — each of these professionals offers value and is referable. What they offer to the marketplace is clear.
Companies pay recruiters large sums to help find them the right people. If someone in your network refers you to the perfect job opening, they have delivered value to two people in their network – you, of course, but also the employer.
But how do you become someone who is referable?
Referable Tip #1: Be Memorable
The most important tip to being referable is to be memorable. If a person doesn’t remember what you do or how you can help others in their network, they can’t refer you to their friends, EVEN if they want to.
Have a tight 30-second elevator pitch about who you are and what you can offer. Also, if time permits, have an example success story to share. People remember stories, not facts and figures.
Example:
Stranger: “So Antonio, what do you do?”
Me: “Well you know how most men dress poorly?”
Stranger: “Yeah, sure.”
Me: “Well I run a company that teaches men how to dress better so they can succeed in business. In fact, I just helped a young man last week from Iowa rebuild his wardrobe. He went through a round of five interviews over five days with a big consulting company in Chicago and never once had to worry about his clothing. He got the job. I like to think, in part, because he was able to focus in on what’s important and not worry about looking like a kid from the cornfields.”
OK – so at this point I’ve spoken for 30 seconds.
Yet I’ve created a powerful and memorable image of who I am and what I do.
The man I’m speaking with doesn’t need any clothing or help dressing sharp. However, 30 minutes later he introduces me to a colleague to whom he has already repeated my story. The man I’m introduced to admits he needs to build a wardrobe – the perfect prospective client.
Be memorable, and when people find someone who needs your services they will make the introduction.
Referable Tip #2: Dress to Impress
Your very first impression at any face-to-face meeting is visual. Everything else comes after that.
Being well-dressed makes you seem less threatening when you approach strangers, more influential when people are evaluating your usefulness as a contact, and more attractive to potential friends or romantic interests.
You certainly don’t have to go through life in a business suit, and in fact you should be actively avoiding business wear when you attend social events (unless it’s called for). But upgrading from jeans and a t-shirt to slacks and a dress shirt with a sports jacket for your default “around town” outfit can make a huge difference in your networking.
Referable Tip #3: Offer Sincere Compliments
If you admire something about someone, there’s no shame in telling them. It creates a feeling of goodwill, and people want to be around people who make them feel good.
The best compliments are based off a little research or close observation. Perhaps the gentleman you’re speaking with is a newly hired teacher at a local junior college – congratulate him on the position and ask about the challenges he’s facing as a new faculty member. Perhaps the woman to your left mentioned her book earlier in the night – point out that you admire the commitment writers have, and ask her to talk about the experience of being an author.
Never lay a compliment on too thick or expand beyond a simple one-sentence compliment. Use them to break the ice and then lead into a natural conversation.
At the end of the evening, what you talked about may be forgotten. The way you made others feel, though, is remembered.
Referable Tip #4: Listen & Show Interest
Listen to what the people you meet are saying instead of just waiting for your turn to speak.
Ask intelligent questions and show a genuine interest in the conversation. This means that you stop checking your smartphone every three minutes to see if you received an email or text – it really is a sign of disrespect. Personally, I turn my phone completely off at networking events to avoid temptation.
When you’re first meeting someone you want to use the words “I” and “me” sparingly. You’ll have to use them a few times, obviously (“My name is…” etc.), but limit yourself. Resist the urge to identify with the other person’s story by relating it to your life.
Instead, ask easy questions about the other person. If it’s a business event, “What do you do?” is always reliable, as is, “How long have you lived in town?” It may take a few of these until you hit on the one that makes them expand beyond one-sentence answers, so always have a couple ready to go in any conversation.
Referable Tip #5: Be of Specific Use
The funny thing is that this last tip is the real reason why a person should hire or partner with you.
Why is it last on the list, then? In most networking situations you’re not going to speak with the hiring manager right off.
Instead, you’ll more likely find yourself in a conversation with one of their sales reps or other associates. If you start the conversation with a 15-minutes one-sided discussion about how you can code in six programming languages you’re going to get the eyes-glossed-over look two minutes into the conversation.
Really, they don’t care about the coding. And that’s the problem. When networking, we try to ram our usefulness down other people’s throats.
Rather than trying to impress, look to be of use. Ask about them and learn about their issues, then see if you can provide value from your wide range of skillsets.
Imagine if this same sales rep mentioned how a bug in their system continuously caused him and his team to show up unprepared to a client’s office. Even though you haven’t done this type of work for a year, you might be able to offer a solution they hadn’t considered, and then 15 minutes later that same sales rep is introducing you to the hiring manager who was in another room.
Be a useful man and opportunity will seek you out.
Immediate Action – What Can You Do Today?
The best time to plant a tree is twenty years ago. The second best time is now.
I can’t remember where I read this, but it is the best advice I can give a young man who is just starting and perhaps feels behind.
The simple answer is (and there is no way to shortcut this): you have to earn people’s trust. That’s how relationships have been, and will always be, built.
So start building your network today, right now. Ask for help, offer value, and maintain the relationships.
And remember, the best networkers build strong relationships before they ever need them.
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