Depends on the reason.
If I messed up then I apologize and fix the problem
If she messed up I ignore her
If she won't tell me why she's mad I ignore her
If she's angry about something that happened 2 weeks ago, 2-6 months ago, a year ago, or any farther in the past I ignore her
This is a dealbreaker. Time for SRS conversation, which obviously needs to happen at a time where both of you are comfortable and relaxed. First, you ask her to let you talk all the way through. Then you tell her that
you have previously tried bringing this up
her anger is affecting you in a way that you dislike very strongly
if you deem it necessary, give her two examples [two = not a one time thing, but not out list all of her flaws, either]
you need this to change, or you can't stay in the relationship
you will do everything you can to help her work on this
discuss strategies like a safeword or therapy
Every time she interrupts you, repeat that you asked her to let you talk all the way through before you discuss this together, and that you can discuss after you are done talking. Continue at the point in which she interrupted you.
Her reaction to this conversation will tell you a lot about your future with her. If she sidetracks, refuses to accept fault, and won't engage in the discussion constructively - I'm sorry, but that doesn't bode all too well for your future. GL!
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She's really cool but she has a bad temper... doesn't that pretty much mean that she isn't really "cool"?
But seriously, what my boyfriend does when he sees me start to lose it is he'll tell me to go in the bedroom, shut the door and chill the fuck out. It makes me so fucking mad when he does this, but if I follow his instructions I emerge much calmer and far more rational.
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I had this problem with my fiance earlier in our relationship.
I sat her down when she was calm and in a good mood and explained it wasn't going to continue. She needed to recognise that "I feel X in response to Y" doesn't mean "Y caused X". Just because something upset her or made her angry doesnt mean that thing was wrong. Her being upset or angry wasn't itself my fault if the underlying cause didnt justify it.
I told her I wasnt willing to walk on eggshells, and I would call her out every time she did this.
Within a month or so she stopped doing it for good. She says she had never really though about seperating how something made her feel from what that thing actually was. Previously she just assumed it was correct that if X made her upset, X was bad and whoever caused it owed her an apology in proportion to how upset she got.
Now she accepts that her emotional reaction to things is independent of the thing itself, and while its fine to feel her feelings, its not fine to blame me for them when doing so is not proportionate to the cause.
That was 5 years ago, now we are blissfully happy and never fight.
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https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/comments/sda5kg/how_do_you_all_deal_with_a_shorttempered_so/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3
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