https://www.reddit.com/r/oddlysatisfying/comments/1040mcw/candies_slowly_dissolving_in_hot_water/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3
LPT: Need to divide something fairly between 2 kids? Let one kid make the split and let the other kid choose the partition. Because kid making the allocation won't know which partition he/she is getting, it will incentivize him/her to make the fairest possible split.
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LPT: When my toddler is fighting bedtime or a nap, I start fake yawning to make him instantly sleepy
It took me 22 months to figure out this bedtime trick. Yawns are contagious so I'll fake a long, dramatic, sleepy yawn and then instantly watch my kid start yawning and his eyes get heavy. My wife thinks it's so funny and cracks up watching us yawn back and forth. Unless he is on hyper level 100, this works for my 2yo. YMMV.
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LPT: Answering "I don't know - but we can find out..." can help your child develop problem-solving skills, demonstrates that personal uncertainty is an OK state of being, increases empathy, and reinforces that the world still has mystery with answers to be discovered.
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What common parenting technique do you think screws kids up?
Not paying enough attention to the kids - and/or only paying attention to them when they are doing something wrong.
Catching kids being bad is important so you can correct them, but if what they are doing is not 'that bad' it can often be even better to let them make their mistakes so they learn from them. What is even more important than catching them being bad - is to catch them being good. If they get attention and positive reinforcement whenever they are doing right, they learn to do good all the time.
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Making threats without following through. Counting backwards from five means nothing if you get to one without consequences.
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TIL that praising a child's intelligence is counterproductive and ultimately makes them dumber. However, praising the process of problem solving makes a child smarter.
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When they start watching tv, turn on the subtitles. I have no official evidence to prove my theory but my daughter was a proficient reader before she was 4 and at age 6 reads at a 4th grade level. We have always read to her and followed the usual instructions to encourage good reading habits but I think the subtitles really helped more than any of that. She's never watched more than 2-3 hours of tv in a day and usually less than 1 hour but we figured it had to be working when we got a new TV when she was 3 and within a few seconds of turning it on she asked where her words went. I asked if she ever paid attention to the words and she said 'of course I do'. By 4 she was reading billboards at freeway speeds and now it's kind of a running game to find things she can't read.
I know it sounds too easy or maybe coincidental, but I really think the casual exposure to reading at conversational speeds is what sent her reading skills off the charts for her age.
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In response to a request from me, my oldest child (m,28) sent me an email summarizing the childhood experiences he had to struggle through (and still struggling through).
Four words: I had no idea.
Quick advice to my younger self:
If you see perplexing behavior, just assume your child is working through something really hard. They are not trying to disobey or disappoint you. They are genuinely wrestling powerful drives to learn, to fit in, to explore, and to find acceptance.
Assume your child will never talk about their shame, especially if you pry. Instead, regularly and openly teach the concepts that will negate the false ideas behind shame.
Take a couple of days with your partner and try your best to remember every source of shame in your life, then ask yourself the hard questions for how you might be perpetuating it with your children. Make a plan to reject the stupid ideas and traditions behind the shame and invent your own sensible, authentic traditions.
Create regular opportunities for non-stressful interactions with your children. Have 1:1s with your kids, but make sure 90% or more are not about teaching or problems, but rather about enjoyment, creativity, play, or just hanging out.
I'd add,
If your tween/teenager ask you to hang out with them, hang out with them unless you literally can't. At that age them sharing with you isn't as common as it once was. But if my 16 year old ask me to go throw around the football/baseball or my 17 year old ask if we can go for a walk, that's normally means they want to talk about something.
Try to make your house a welcoming environment for them and their friends. Our house being the main hangout spot for my teens and their friends has been great for us. It does mean our house is usually filled with a loud group of teens but it also means I know what my kids and their friends are up to.
Always let your kid know they can use you as an excuse. When they are struggling with peer pressure and need an easy out, "My stupid mom/dad said no" is held up as legitimate since they all know parents can be buzzkills.
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