As we’ve discussed many times before on the Art of Manliness, the male gang has always been the primary social unit of men. Anthropologists have found that ancestral humans formed close-bonded bands for the purposes of hunting and fighting. Even in modern, industrial societies like America, sociologists have noted that boys are more likely to run around in large groups of other boys, while girls spend most of their time in dyadic pairs.
The male gang, what I like to call a platoon, constitutes an honor group — an exclusive, tight-knit, all-male society of equals. Every member is expected to live a certain code of behavior: those who excel at the standards are honored, while those who show disdain or indifference for them are shamed, and possibly excluded.
Honor groups foster both inter- and intra-competition. Within an honor group, friends compete within one another to excel at the virtues and skills valued by the team. Because the honor group is both small and made up of roughly equal peers, the competitive fire is stoked to the max.
Failure is also buffeted in the honor group. Psychologist Joyce Benenson has spent 30 years researching the social dynamics between boys and girls. One observation that she’s made about male groups is that so long as boy or man strives to give his all in living up to the standards of the group, the group will still see him as an asset, even if he comes up short. This provides some psychological security to a man who is deeply embedded in a male group, which, counter-intuitively, encourages him to compete even more. If he’ll be considered part of the group even if he fails (contingent, of course, on him daring greatly), then he’s got nothing to lose in pushing himself in the intra-group competition.
Besides competing within themselves, male groups like to compete with other male groups. It’s a chance to test their mettle against external opponents. It’s why men prefer team sports over individual sports, while for women it’s the reverse. Team competition simulates the primordial male gang, and cements the group’s bonds. Oxytocin — the love chemical — is released in our brains when we’re competing against another team with our team. That oxytocin release causes us to fight and compete harder. We don’t want to let our fellow men down.
Thus, having a small group of male friends with similar goals is one of the best ways to harness your competitive drive and get the most from it. The competition among you as well as with other groups will push you beyond your current abilities.
Make it a goal to find your male honor group. Join a CrossFit class, start a fight club in your garage, or start up a business with some buddies. Engage in friendly competition with other men to improve each other, and after that, find opportunities to compete against other groups so that the bonds between you are knitted tighter and you can experience the extra performance boost that comes from tackling a challenge as a gang.
The male gang, what I like to call a platoon, constitutes an honor group — an exclusive, tight-knit, all-male society of equals. Every member is expected to live a certain code of behavior: those who excel at the standards are honored, while those who show disdain or indifference for them are shamed, and possibly excluded.
Honor groups foster both inter- and intra-competition. Within an honor group, friends compete within one another to excel at the virtues and skills valued by the team. Because the honor group is both small and made up of roughly equal peers, the competitive fire is stoked to the max.
Failure is also buffeted in the honor group. Psychologist Joyce Benenson has spent 30 years researching the social dynamics between boys and girls. One observation that she’s made about male groups is that so long as boy or man strives to give his all in living up to the standards of the group, the group will still see him as an asset, even if he comes up short. This provides some psychological security to a man who is deeply embedded in a male group, which, counter-intuitively, encourages him to compete even more. If he’ll be considered part of the group even if he fails (contingent, of course, on him daring greatly), then he’s got nothing to lose in pushing himself in the intra-group competition.
Besides competing within themselves, male groups like to compete with other male groups. It’s a chance to test their mettle against external opponents. It’s why men prefer team sports over individual sports, while for women it’s the reverse. Team competition simulates the primordial male gang, and cements the group’s bonds. Oxytocin — the love chemical — is released in our brains when we’re competing against another team with our team. That oxytocin release causes us to fight and compete harder. We don’t want to let our fellow men down.
Thus, having a small group of male friends with similar goals is one of the best ways to harness your competitive drive and get the most from it. The competition among you as well as with other groups will push you beyond your current abilities.
Make it a goal to find your male honor group. Join a CrossFit class, start a fight club in your garage, or start up a business with some buddies. Engage in friendly competition with other men to improve each other, and after that, find opportunities to compete against other groups so that the bonds between you are knitted tighter and you can experience the extra performance boost that comes from tackling a challenge as a gang.
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