Ignore the cat you're trying to charm. Move about slowly and quietly. Sit still for long periods of time. Talk in a low voice. It may take weeks for the cat to realize that you are not a threat.
Other tips:Read a book. Cats love to get in the way of your reading. It pisses them off that you would put that much focus on something other than them. Bonus points for big textbook laid out flat. Guaranteed cat magnet.
Knit. Cats are notorious supervisors. Are you digging a hole outside? A cat will come over and watch you sweat like the fool you are. They like to observe and use their body language to critique. Knitting works just as good as the book reading with added bonus (in a cat's mind) of messing up your work-in-progress.
If all else fails, wear black. Anything that will show cat hair is a cat magnet.
Cats are nervous. The hardest part will be getting the cat to LET you touch her. You don't want to grab her and manhandle her, you want to let her approach you and gently pet her, so she learns that you're not going to hurt her.
Here's how to say "hi!" to a cat:
Squat down near the cat
Put your hand out towards the cat, at the cat's head level, palm up. Don't reach out as far as you can go! Keep your elbow bent.
Try to get the cat's attention. Snap your fingers, make "cat" sounds ("swi-swi-swi-swi-swi", etc.)
If the cat's interested and starts to come to you, great! If she just walks away, you can try to follow a bit, but you're probably better off waiting.
If the cat comes to you:
Again, put your hand out, palm up, at the cat's head level. Again, DON'T REACH OUT ALL THE WAY, keep your elbow bent!
When the cat comes up to you, the first thing she'll want to do is sniff the tips of your fingers. Keep your hand steady and let her sniff.
After she sniffs for a few seconds, try to run a finger up along her cheeks (like how a cat rubs against your leg). If she backs up, stop and let her smell your hand again.
After rubbing her cheeks a couple of times, try to gently scratch the top of her head. This is where not putting your arm out all the way comes into play -- the cat will only come as close as your outstretched fingers, so if you've reached as far as you can go just to have her smell your fingers, you won't be able to reach her head. If you've kept your arm bent, you'll be able to reach out a bit.
Gently scratch and rub the top of her head and around her ears.
That's it! You've said "hello!" to the cat.
If at any point the cat starts to get nervous, just back off from touching her and let her smell your hand again.
Basically, she's going to assume that you're going to hurt her. You're a lot bigger than her, you're a lot stronger than her. You need to gently and slowly show her that you're not going to hurt her.
She'll let you know that she's feeling threatened by raising her fur, growling, or putting her ears back. These are signs to back off a bit. Switching her tail, by itself, doesn't mean much -- pay attention to her ears and fur.
You'll probably have to say "hello" to the cat a few times over several visits before she starts to just come up to you on her own.
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Say hi to them when you arrive and then ignore them! Cats cannot bear to be ignored!
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