I've been married over 2 decades.
IF YOU'RE WRONG:
Apologize for shouting. Apologize for being antagonistic. Mean it.
Tell her honestly that you want to work this problem out, but you love her and don't want to shout, yell, scream, etc.
Sit and LISTEN. Don't defend yourself. Don't get hostile.
Apologize for what you've done wrong and hug. Move on.
IF SHE IS WRONG:
Don't yell, don't scream, don't shout. Explain in neutral terms how what has occurred has hurt your feelings or whatever the specific effect caused by her actions was. Address THAT... not her actions. Assume her actions were not done vindictively.
Hug and say thank you for a civil discussion.
Move on.
IF SHE REALLY SCREWED YOU OVER INTENTIONALLY:
Dump her. Fuck that.
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You yell at them "you can't treat me like this, I don't care how good looking you are!" Ends it every time.
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My father once told me that you should always tell smart girls they're pretty and pretty girls they're smart. Wise words.
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1st relationship: 4 arguments in 4 years.
All subsequent relationships: 0-1 total (mostly they're 18-36 months long)
At 31, I'm good at seeing potential arguments coming. For example, is Christmas on the horizon? Then I'll bring it up in September or October where we'll spend it (together or apart) while giving reasons for what we both want e.g. "My nana is ill and may not make it to next Christmas so I want to spend this one with her." Discussing things at an early stage before anyone is too emotionally invested in the event/situation avoids arguments while still allowing both of us to do broadly what they want.
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The best advice I can give is to STOP ARGUING VIA TEXT! I used to do this a lot with my fiance... and it made things far more complicated than they needed to be. Emotions get confused; sincerity gets mistaken for sarcasm, etc. When you see things starting spiral into that direction, get them on the phone and just talk about it. I can almost guarantee that this will solve a lot of your arguments much faster, and more constructively than you might be used to.
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Well firstly it’s okay that you said no to something you’re uncomfortable with. She should’ve respected that. No means no and it shouldn’t be something that someone gets mad at.
I think you should send a neutral text saying “I understand why you’re mad... blah blah... I’m sorry. I will try to learn how to communicate better”
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To start with, there are some boundaries you should not go outside, such as (but not limited to):
name calling
bringing up the past
threatening to leave
comparing them to their parents
telling them their sisters have better bodies.
(that last one is just thrown in because lists tend to get stale)
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We argue a couple times a month. It's about stupid shiet usually. We are very compassionate with each other though and are learning to communicate openly and express that we are frustrated with each other. My boyfriend always kisses me and hugs me no matter how upset either of us are. He never withdraws his love for me , I think that's what I love about him most.
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